


konoha is a feeling

by liquorisce



Series: poetry of the heart [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Friendship, Konoha - Freeform, Nostalgia, POV Uchiha Sasuke, SasuSaku - Freeform, Uchiha Sasuke-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:07:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liquorisce/pseuds/liquorisce
Summary: a day in sasuke's journey, where he thinks of home... its burdens, and its joys. sasuke-centric, sasusaku.// "...There are days that he considers it, considers leaving Konoha, his home, behind. It would be the easier path, starting from scratch in a new village, without a history that was written bloody by ancestors he hadn't even known he had." //
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke
Series: poetry of the heart [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2198250
Comments: 11
Kudos: 27





	konoha is a feeling

**Author's Note:**

> i'm ridiculously late to the naruto fandom, but i'm obsessed now... and i was overcome with the urge to write sasuke and his feelings.

It's a rare day of leisure, generously warm and sunny, and Sasuke, on his journey of atonement, finds himself feeling out of place on the narrow streets of a small village, that he has stumbled into. There’s a thrum of sellers advertising their fresh vegetables, citizens striking bargains, and childish tantrums at the sweet dumplings cart.

Maybe it's because he's an outsider watching the intimacy of a society that has known its people for years, or the fact that he's covered head to do in protective ninja clothing in comparison to the villagers who walk carefree in civilian clothing, but he is starkly aware that he sticks out like a store thumb. So, he hurries into the restaurant closest to him, and sinks into an inconspicuous booth.

The waitress arrives almost instantly, greeting him with a smile and asking him what he would like. Blankly, he realizes he rushed in without even seeing what sort of a restaurant it is, so he asks, "... What would you recommend?"

"Our ramen broth is our chef's speciality," she says enthusiastically, and Sasuke's lips quirk at the corners, thinking of a certain blonde who ate nothing else, "... I'm sure you'll find it to your taste!"

"I'll have one serving, please." 

"... Are you just visiting, Sir?"

Startled at the conversation continuing longer than it needed to, he looks up at the waitress. "... Yes." It's curt, as he usually is, but his voice doesn't betray the unsettled feeling in his chest as he takes in the green of her eyes _\- it's a different green, not the right green -_ the strawberry tinge on her blonde hair, and the warmth of her smile.

"I'm sure you'll love it," she flashes him a bright smile, "So many visitors often want to move here permanently!"

"... I could," she giggles, consciously, and Sasuke's discomfort starts to show through his stoic demeanour, "show you around later, if you'd like."

He often shows himself out of uncomfortable situations with a detached silence that manages to discourage people from pursuing responses from him, but after two seconds of silence and Sasuke having to suffer through an extremely hopeful expression from the woman in front of him, he manages, "... I'm leaving in a few hours."

She looks disappointed, and dejectedly brushes it aside, leaving to bring him the food that he's been promised. A sigh escapes him, and it's then that he realises he's been holding his breath this whole time.

He tunes out the low hum of conversation amongst the restaurant's patrons, the last statement of the waitress playing more on his mind than it should.

...There are days that he considers it, considers leaving Konoha, _his home_ , behind. It would be the easier path, starting from scratch in a new village, without a history that was written bloody by ancestors he hadn't even known he had.

There was a sinful appeal to it, a freedom that temporarily quelled the burdens of guilt and shame that he carried with him in his journey. It never lasts too long, like most things that seem too easy to be true. His bubbles of illusion always burst when he is reminded of the gravity of everything he would have to leave behind.

Konoha is not just the stares of people who whisper as he passes by, wondering why the Hokage pardoned a nukenin who had harboured ambitions to destroy their little village. Konoha is not just the Uchiha grounds that have remained a graveyard ever since the Council decided to extinguish the flames of the Uchiha, with his brother's hand. Konoha is more than his academy class that toes this strange line of half-truths, swinging between respect for his strength and concern for his violent past.

Konoha is also a sensei who is actually so much more than that, a protector, who has raised him and forgiven him like only a parent would. Konoha is home to the friend who'd saved him - reached out into the jaws of despair, where he'd made a home for himself, and pulled him out before he was consumed by it. In moments like this, where the selfish, weak threads of his mind tempt him to leave all that behind, Sasuke is reminded that Naruto would save him again, save him from his own escapism, and bring him back to the bond that he has by now realized that he cannot live without. It brings about an odd feeling, a foreign smile to his face.

But Konoha is more than Naruto and Kakashi... and this was the complicated bit; Konoha was also _her_.

Konoha was also Haruno Sakura, with her pink hair, and green eyes that seemed to shed tears so easily - _for him, so many tears that she has shed for **him** , and that notion twists in his heart_ \- and the I-love-yous that spilled from her lips so often, that have only grown more fervent and genuine regardless of his actions towards her.

The waitress returns to his table after he is done with his meal, and he is quick to offer his money and leave, and not linger on the resemblance in her features that pulled him into this spiral in the first place. He closes his eyes to her hopeful smile and the niceness that she probably doesn't dole out to every customer, the green eyes and the light hair that reminded him just how heartsick he was for _her_.

It doesn’t matter if he indulges in the fantasy of leaving everything behind, and starting over in this village whose name he doesn’t even know… maybe even with the woman who served him his lunch, a woman who he didn't have any history with.

A woman who he's never called annoying, or left behind, or knocked out, or tried to kill.

A woman with whom he'd have nothing to apologize for apart from coming home late or working too hard or letting her win arguments for the sake of peace.

... It doesn't matter, because when he looked at her, he wasn't really looking at her, he was looking at the shadow of a woman through regret-tinted glasses, wishing he could go back and rewrite his story with - _his_ \- Sakura.

Because no matter how much he travels and atones for his sins, he hasn't even scratched the surface of the atonement he must beg for with her, and that is a journey that he doesn't even know where to start.

.

.

.

As he walks out of the restaurant, his ears pick up on the chatter between the middle-aged couple who run the joint.

_"You always do this dear! I know you want to feed the customers well," the woman chides her husband affectionately, "but you have to be mindful of ingredients, or else we'll run out..."_

_"Ah," the husband chuckles, "... What would I do without you, Natsumi?"_

It's a simple picture of domestic banter, and in that moment Sasuke is honest with himself about how much he craves something similar. And he allows himself to wonder if he can ever have this, permission to love his wife simply, and happily, without the stain of regret and irredeemable actions.

But while these thoughts of his are often sombre, dark, and unforgiving, he knows Sakura is the exact opposite. And so, he vows to take just a little more time, to wander these hopeless thoughts just a little while longer, till he can begin to muster up the forgiveness for himself that he knows awaits him in Konoha.


End file.
